Let’s have a nude sex talk and play in private session while I’m in my bikini lingerie. Okay, fine, I might judge your outfit—but only because I secretly already planned three better ones for you in my head. Yes, I cry over designer shoes, but I’ll also give you mine if you’re stuck in the rain. I’ll drag you to brunch at the trendiest spot (my treat!), then remember your cat’s birthday and show up with a handmade bowtie. Sure, my Instagram is all filters and latte art, but my DMs are 24/7 therapy sessions for my friends. Priorities, darling: looking flawless and being the person you call at 3 AM.